THE LIFE AND DEATH OF A “T” SHIRT

Has anyone ever stopped and thought about a T Shirt.  I‘ve been thinking a lot about them lately.  After all, they are the closest thing to our hearts.  Like nose hairs, we all have them.  In fact, over the course of our lives, we probably have acquired hundreds of them.  They truly are the most versatile item in your wardrobe.  They can be worn as a layered piece for warmth on those cold winter days, as a fashion accessory or even as a pajama top.

But that’s not all.  Despite the fact that we have little respect for the might “T”, one has to consider the memories we share with them.  Can you think of one time that you returned from a vacation without a “T” shirt souvenir?  It’s so important that the world know that you were at the Grand Canyon, the Cayman Islands or that you ran a 5K for breast cancer awareness month.  Let’s not forget the many T shirts purchased from concerts you attended.  No better feeling than to wear a Hot Licks T from 1979 that you paid $60 for and you know it cost $2.99 to make.  Way to go Mick.

Every 3 months or so, my philanthropic wife announces that we will be donating items to the needy.  It’s a great cause and gives me a chance to thin out my closet.  So I immediately begin to collect my velours, Nehru’s, plaid button downs, and my John Travolta wide collar dance fever rayon’s, so I can make room for the latest in fashion.  But T shirts.  NO WAY!!  To me the T shirt is invaluable.  Like a dog, it’s the one thing that sticks with you through thick and thin and can last almost forever.  To discard them is not so easy.  At what point does the “T” die.  Does the yellow ring of years of embedded armpit sweat make it less desirable?  Does the 13 rips around the collar deem it unwearable?   How about the cracked lettering from your children’s Alma Mata displayed across the chest?  EM RY, Uinnipiac?    How about the spaghetti sauce stains that never came out in the wash?  Do these qualify for the donation pile?

And of course let’s not forget the shrinkage factor.  Do you blame the dryer on the fact that your belly sticks out the bottom of the T shirt, or the fact that when you purchased the t shirt, you were a medium and now an XL.  Is it time now to add this to the pile?

At what point does the “T” lose its status.  At first, you wear it proudly.  Its form fitting, thus accentuating your biceps and Pectorals.  Then as time marches on, it becomes the uniform for gardening or washing your car.  But then, you realize that your favorite T is no longer worthy for the outdoors, and demote it to a pajama top.  This sad demise could go on for years, until such time where the dreadful decision must be made.  Donate or become a rag for the cleaning crew.

At this time, let us all take a moment of silence for all those T’s that are no longer with us.  We’ve shared many great times together, but now just a memory.  Good bye old friend.